


Petals off the Rose

by jolimelon



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Fluff, Family, Hospitalization, M/M, Matt and Keith are their children, Memory Loss, Non graphic injury mentions, Oneshot, Slight swearing, adam and shiro are married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-28 04:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17176331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jolimelon/pseuds/jolimelon
Summary: After losing his memory, Adam is faced with the shocking discovery that he's been married for the past sixteen years to a man that he can only remember as his past high school rival, Takashi Shirogane, with the additional shock that the couple have two young children together, and a third on the way. In his best attempts to put aside his ill-feelings for Shiro, Adam does what he can to act as the family man that he has no recollection of being, with the hopes that things will begin to feel even the slightest bit normal to him.





	Petals off the Rose

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this oneshot! I'll apologize in advance for any mistakes cause editing this was a real pain in the ass cause everything kept crashing on me lol I hope you like it anyway!

In the spring of his second year of college, Adam and his ‘rival’ of many years, Takashi Shirogane, finally began to see eye-to-eye with one another. 

They had been alleged rivals since the early years of their teens, though more due to circumstances than a clash in personality. They had both been top students, and marvellous athletes to boot, so naturally, the two had oftentimes been compared to one another. 

Neither cared for the comparisons, but, before they could be sure of what was going on, they had both strived to be at the top, ultimately always at war with each other over who would finally become the greatest. 

It was a strange rivalry indeed. Though the two still shared normal pleasantries in their few interactions, there was still that underlying sense of competition that wouldn’t die down. They never would have referred to the other as a ‘friend’, perhaps even ‘acquaintance’ would be pushing it. Whenever Shiro came up in conversation, Adam’s only response would often be, “I don’t know him.” 

It continued on until graduation, when the two were finally freed from the shackles of high school rivalries and were able to live life’s of their own at opposing universities. 

The first year of university went by quickly for Adam, he had few friends, and remained immersed in his studies. His goal was to become a teacher- and he took his aspiring occupation very seriously. So much so that he had completely forgotten about his high school life within only months of leaving it behind. 

Things changed during the second year of university. A new student had transferred into the majority of his classes, his appearance alone causing a brisk chill to run down Adam’s spine as a flood of memories returned to him. 

Takashi Shirogane, the top student, the prestigious athlete, had now returned to his life, curiously with one less arm than Adam had last seen him with. Though at the time he didn’t know it, he would later learn that Shiro had received an illness that had required the amputation of the limb. 

Regardless, he still wore that same smile that Adam had seen at a distance many times before. He held his breath, his eyes unknowingly fixated on the delicate curves of the man’s lips, the way the apples of his cheeks rose and caused the corners of his eyes to crease. 

It was then, for the first time, that Adam had thought to himself just how good looking Shiro was. Of course he had known it on a surface level to some degree, but he hadn’t actually paid _that_ much attention to him before. 

The two became better acquainted through the course of their classes together. Their past rivalry had long since been forgotten, as both men had too much else on their plates to be concerned over some silly former high school labels. 

To Adam’s surprise, the two got along well, and quickly at that. Shiro warmed up to him in record timing, and Adam soon found himself easing on his tense studying schedule in order to make more time for socialization.

Shiro was a kind-hearted man at his core, he was silly at times, occasionally hot headed, but always a pleasure to be with. His intelligence and agility were no longer things for Adam to feel inferior toward, because, on the contrary, those traits had now become very attractive in Adam’s eyes. 

They were finally able to become equals, shedding the overwhelming gloom of teenage rivalry that had been forced upon them. 

“I sometimes wish that I could’ve gotten to know you sooner. Who knows where we could be now?” Adam had found himself saying one day, the words escaping his lips before he could give them much thought. 

Shiro had stared at him a moment, his expression a mixture of surprise and amusement at the unusually bold words. He didn’t hesitate to unleash his own thoughts shortly after, as he reached his hand forward, cupping his palm around the back of Adam’s hand before twirling it around so that their fingers may lock with each other. 

“Why don’t we find out?” had been Shiro’s answer, no subtly in his implication whatsoever. But that was what Adam liked so much- a certain raw boldness that skipped beating over the bush and instead got straight to the point. 

There was no time to waste. He and Shiro were as young as they’d ever be again, still laced with the same impatience of youth though no longer quite as reckless as they were once before. 

Their relationship first moved at a rapid pace, no hesitation in the strive to achieve all of their ‘firsts’ together, the entire ordeal almost amusingly reminiscent of their overly competitive spirits of the past. However, as the two spent more time together as a couple, they began to slow things down, and appreciate even the smallest of moments shared together.

Though Shiro had at first caused Adam’s heart to beat rapidly with excitement on sight, he had found that the man had since begun to cause the opposite, a calming effect, on him. After dating for some time, whenever Adam was in Shiro’s company, he felt his body ease all of its tension, instead beginning to feel the safest and most at home no matter where the two may be together. 

Even in a tightly packed crowd with hardly any space to breathe, the moment Adam felt the warmth of Shiro’s hand wrapped around his, he knew that everything was going to be okay. 

Everything was going to be okay. 

_Everything will be okay._

The words rang through Adam’s head, reverberating from one ear to the next, without any fixed concentration on what they meant. He had to mentally process a lot of things, and he was having no easy time doing it. 

A man’s hand was wrapped around his, it was the only hand that the other man possessed, his grip tight and his palm clammy with nervous perspiration. Despite the words the man spoke, it had seemed as if he were speaking more to himself than Adam as he repeated again and again, “Everything will be okay.” 

The man was familiar to Adam in a way that he couldn’t quite put into words. He knew the face had belonged to his former classmate, Takashi Shirogane, but he had aged many years since the most recent recollection he had of him. 

It had been seventeen years, to be precise, nearly two full decades, but Adam couldn’t remember a thing.

As far as his mind could process, he and Shiro had last been competitive classmates who had been happy to lose touch as soon as they had finished their secondary education. 

He could remember bits of university here and there, but re-meeting Shiro was not a memory that he could access whatsoever.

Yet, there sat Shiro, his hand firmly in Adams, and no matter how long and hard Adam stared, he still couldn’t possibly comprehend what was happening. 

“Any questions you have, don’t hesitate to ask, sweetie, I’ll fill you in on everything I possibly can.” 

Adam blinked a few times, his gaze slowly making the journey from Shiro’s hand to his face, that -despite aging very well thus far- had still changed enough to cause a shock. 

His hair, which had once only been shaved at the sides with a thick tuft remained at the center, had been trimmed shortly, now with faint streaks of white mixed in to the otherwise jet black hue. He wore a pair of thin rimmed glasses, which he had never needed in high school (unlike Adam, who had needed them since childhood). 

He was handsome, obviously, Adam couldn’t deny it, but he still reeled in shock over the fact that he had actually grown up to one day marry him. 

Yet, despite not getting along much during their high school days, Adam believed all of Shiro’s claims without much doubt. In the first place, they were both wearing matching wedding rings on their according fingers, and no matter how hard he tried twisting and tugging, it refused to budge. Also, there was a certain sincerity in the almost-desperate pleas in Shiro’s voice as he insisted that everything would be fine, a thin line of tears outlining the inner corners of his eyes as he spoke. 

There was no reason not to believe him. Adam just wished that it wasn’t true, and he felt a pang of guilt for thinking so. 

Clear as day, Adam could see that raw, burning love in Shiro’s eyes and knew that the man truly loved him with a passion, but, because he failed to recall the past nearly twenty years, he couldn’t feel the same way in return. 

“Could you not call me sweetie?” Adam asked. He could never imagine himself growing to actually like such a mushy pet name. 

Shiro’s eyebrows rose, and he was taken aback, but as he gave a tight lipped smile, he nodded his head and complied with the wishes of the other man. 

“I’m sorry, Adam,” Shiro said, slowly softening the grip of his hand. “I’m not trying to make you feel uncomfortable.” 

“It’s fine,” Adam mumbled, the pang of guilt returning to haunt him further. “So how long have we…” 

“Been together?” 

Adam nodded. 

“Sixteen years,” Shiro answered, “We’ve been married for thirteen, and have had kids for five.” 

That was a lot to take in. 

“Our oldest is five, then?” Adam asked, and Shiro nodded. “How many do we have?” 

“Two, with a third due in April.” 

Adam furrowed his eyebrows, “Due?” 

“Via surrogate.” 

“Oh,” Adam mumbled simply. 

“Yeah, try as we may, we can’t make them on our own.” Shiro joked, but Adam wasn’t in the head space to laugh just yet. 

“Our oldest is Matt, he’s five. And our second is Keith, who just turned two a little over a month ago.” Shiro went on to explain. “We had a cat before we had kids, too, but she died awhile back.” 

It was too much to process all at once. A coursing whirlwind of conflicting thoughts wreaked havoc in Adam’s mind. The veins at his temples began to throb with a burning determination. 

This wasn’t how Adam’s life was supposed to go. He wasn’t supposed to fall in love with Shiro, much less marry him and have children. 

Since when had Adam become so weak? How on earth could the man who irritated him so in the past have accomplished unlocking the heavily secured gate surrounding Adam’s heart? 

“Where are they now?” Adam eventually asked. There had been no children visiting during the duration of his hospital visit.

“They’re at my mom’s place, she’s watching them for now.” 

“Are my parents still…?” 

“They’re alive, yeah. I called them to let them know about the accident. They’re out of the country right now but they’ll come to see you soon.” 

“Oh,” Adam breathed a sigh of relief. 

“I won’t overwhelm you with too much information right away, but I’ll answer any questions you might have.” 

Adam smiled, albeit faintly. He hadn’t recalled ever seeing Shiro speak so softly, treading with caution at each word, the lingering touch of his hand both comforting and warm, but he could only assume that he had gotten to know this side of him many times over the nearly two decades that they had spent together.

“Thanks,” Adam mumbled. He wasn’t sure how to feel about anything. 

“I’m going to let you rest for awhile now. I’ll be back soon.” Shiro said, his hand slowly slipping away from Adam’s, “I know it might be strange for you to hear this right now- but I love you. So much. You don’t have to say it back.” 

Adam never replied.

* * *

The next day, rain fell, and as promised, Shiro visited Adam once more. 

Throughout the night, having found it difficult to sleep in his restless state, Adam wrote down a series of questions on a sheet of paper- just little things, really, to detail the small pieces of his life that he couldn’t remember. He didn’t know if Shiro would have all the answers that he needed, but as his long-term partner, he could only hope that he did. 

Shiro had smiled faintly as he took the list of question into his hand, the corners of the page crinkling beneath his tight grip. And then, without hesitation, he began to give thoughtful answers to each one. 

** >>What is my occupation?<< **

“You’re a teacher, just like you wanted to be.” Shiro answered simply, “You’re really advanced in mathematics, and your students are very fond of you.” 

** >>What is your occupation? << **

“I’m a teacher, too,” Shiro smiled fondly, “We work on different floors of the same school.” 

“Are we missing work now?”

“We’re both on leave of absence, yes. We work for good people, though, so they understand.”

** >>What are our kids like?<< **

Shiro’s smile widened at the question, and Adam could tell that it had warmed his heart in an instance. 

“We have really good kids. Matt is a little genius, he’s in advanced classes already. We both try not to put too much pressure on him, though, so that he doesn’t burn out while he’s still so little.” 

“Wow,” Adam hummed, “Good for him.”

“He sticks to you like glue, so you know. He’s your spitting image, and you both love all the same things.” 

Adam was taken aback by the thought of a little tiny human being so alike to him. He blinked a few times, listening quietly as Shiro continued to speak.

“Keith is still just a toddler so we’re just getting to know his personality. He’s developing at an odd pace so far, and he’s not very social, but he’s still only two, so it’s not totally uncommon.” 

“And he’s biologically yours, I’m guessing?” 

“In technical terms, yeah, but you’re his dad, too.” 

“I can’t picture myself as a dad,” Adam said, honestly.

Shiro’s smile faded so subtly that it was hard to catch at a distance, but Adam had taken notice. 

“You’re an amazing dad, even if you don’t remember it.”

Adam kept his silence, and so, Shiro moved onto the next question.

 ** >>What caused me to forget so much? << **

He tensed at the question, his grip tightening at the edges of the paper. His eyebrows were furrowed in a deep concentration, and his breathing had slowed nearly to a full stop. 

“An accident,” Shiro answered, not wanting to beat around the bush. “There was an accident at work, a broken light fixture in the auditorium, that came crashing down where you were standing.” 

_Oh. That’s pretty lame, isn’t it?_

“I see,”

“As insane as it sounds, you’re lucky that it hit you where it did. Just a few centimeters over might have been a fatal blow.” 

“Right, I just lost the majority of my memories, no big deal.” 

With that, Shiro took his cue to read the next question, a hint of hesitancy in his posture as he scanned it over.

** >>Will my memories come back? << **

“Nobody can say for sure,” Shiro answered honestly. “You might remember all at once, or slowly over time, or… maybe not at all. It’s a complex thing.” 

“There’s a chance that I’ll never remember any of it?” 

“It’s possible, but unlikely. Your doctors are pretty optimistic thus far.” 

Adam sighed, slumping his back against the upright-standing pillow behind him. 

“It’s frustrating not knowing a damn thing.” 

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m going to help you the best that I can.” 

There it was again. The sickeningly sweet hint of pure love in his tone. Why? _Why?_ Why did it drive Adam absolutely insane? Why on earth did Shiro love him so much? 

“The doctors told me that I should be ready for release soon,” Adam spoke up, changing the topic, “Where do I go from there?”

Shiro raised his eyebrows, his tone slow as he replied, “I know it might be odd for a little while, but I had assumed I’d be taking you home with me.” 

“I don’t know if I’m really equipt to play husband.” 

“You don’t have to,” said Shiro, his heart heavy as he spoke. “Like I said, I’m not putting you into any position that makes you uncomfortable, so I’m not ever going to be forcing myself on you. But the kids miss you a lot more than I could ever express, so it would mean a lot to them if you came home for the rest of your recovery. And who knows? Maybe a memory or two will become unlocked.”

There was no way to dispute Shiro’s point. Adam knew little about children, but even he could deduce that the lack of a parental figure that they were familiar with could have a bad effect on their young, impressionable minds. 

“I don’t know anything about them, won’t they be upset?” 

Shiro laughed quietly, “Keith won’t know the difference- he doesn’t even know how to count yet. Just seeing you will be enough for him.” 

“And the other one?”

“Matt?” 

“Yeah.” 

“That’ll be a little more difficult, of course. He’ll have a lot of questions, I’m sure. We’ve already explained things to him as best as we can, but the chances of him having fully processed the information is unlikely.”

“Even with you saying it, I’m having a hard time imagining myself ever being a good dad.” 

“Think of it like this,” Shiro piped up, his tone slow but firm nonetheless, “Nobody is born knowing how to be a parent, but we learn from our own parents mistakes and do the best we can with what we have. If you’re a good person then being a good parent usually comes just as naturally.” 

“That’s…” Adam’s voice drifted off, unsure of what he intended to say in the first place. Shiro had a good point, and maybe he didn’t want to admit it, but it actually made him feel better about the whole ordeal. “Can I ask you one more thing?” 

“Ask away,” Shiro answered. 

“How did you…” Adam pointed his finger forward in the direction of Shiro’s cuffed sleeve. As most of his shirts were, it was customized to be sewn where the arm hole would normally be, in order to accommodate his missing arm. “...lose that? If you don’t mind my asking. I recall you having two very clearly.”

Shiro laughed quietly beneath his breath in the form of a quiet but unbothered sigh. It was a question that he got often, though naturally never from his spouse. 

“After high school, I got sick and my arm required an amputation. I missed the first year of university but I studied the entire time I was hospitalized. When you and I re-met, I had just finished my treatments.” 

“Oh,” said Adam, solemnly, “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine, it was a long time ago, and I’m in great shape now.” 

“It must be tough, though, even now.” 

“I’ve gotten used to it by now, but yeah, I can’t deny that some things are really tough.” replied Shiro, his eyes averted to the world outside of the windowsill. 

A faint snow had begun to fall, the sky white without a trace of blue or sunlight beneath it.

“Scissors,” Shiro randomly said, causing Adam to raise an eyebrow. “I hate using them. I can’t hold the scissors and the paper at the same time so I always get you to do it for me.” 

This caused Adam to laugh without notice, a delicate smile perched on his face for the first time in days.

“I can see why that would be a pain.” 

“It’s the worst,” Shiro laughed. “And… when both of our kids were born, you know, newborns are so small and fragile- so I’m always scared to hold them at first. When Matt first came home, I wouldn’t hold him for days until you forced him into my arm and supported him with both of your hands as well. It was really sweet.” 

The corners of Adam’s lips twitched. There was a halt in his heart beat and then, it resumed. There was that pang of guilt again. 

“I’ve been able to overcome a lot with your help, Adam, you’ve always been there with me through everything, and now it’s my turn to return the favor. When I married you, I vowed to always love and protect you, and I meant that. I don’t intend to ever lose sight of that vow til death do us part.” 

_Oh God,_ thought Adam, breathlessly. _He loves me so much. More than I can process._

“I’m sorry,” mumbled Adam, without the faintest clue of what to say next. “I’ll try my best to remember everything.” 

“No rush, okay? Just focus on resting for now.” Shiro replied. “If you’d like, I can bring the boys in tomorrow and you can meet them?”

Truthfully, Adam didn’t know how to feel about that. To look at the face of his own children and not feel any true love for them would cast such a guilt over his heart that he wasn’t sure he could bare. If his memories had been plucked from his mind, like petals off of a rose, then was there ever a chance of them growing back? Would he ever remember them? Would he ever feel love for them ever again?

Yet, Adam knew well that there was no sense in hiding from his fate. He was curious about his children without a doubt, regardless of the anxiety welling up inside of him. So, instead of dwelling on his options for too long, consuming himself in a pool of anxiety, Adam instead decided to take a breath and answer with quick impulse. 

“Sure, I’d like that.”

* * *

Snow fell throughout the duration of the night, coating the streets in a fine dusting. Adam had a nice view outside his window and, having found it difficult to sleep, watched the slowly breezing flakes of snow as they fell to the ground, glittering softly against the city lights. 

Shiro arrived the next day around nine in the morning, shortly after the sun had risen. The snow had since stopped, leaving the world full of a certain stillness.

He entered the room alone at first, greeting Adam with a soft smile. 

“Good morning,” he said.

“Morning,” replied Adam.

“Did you sleep well?” 

Adam nodded his head.

“Are you ready to meet the boys? 

“Yeah,” Adam answered quietly, “I think I’m ready.” 

“Okay, I’ll be back with them in just a second.” 

With that, Shiro has briefly slipped out of the room. The sounds in the hallway were muffled behind the closed door, but not completely indistinguishable. Adam could vaguely hear a bit of hushed chatter between the father and two young children, and he found himself taking deep breath in order to calm his racing heart. 

With his hands, Adam began to brush through the messy curls in his hair, the ringlets curling around the tips of his fingers as he did so. He slid his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, and straightened the collar of his hospital gown to the best of his ability. 

After a moment, that had felt much longer than it was, Shiro re-entered the room. In his arm was a plump-cheeked boy with long raven hair, and cheeks still rosy from the cold winter air. At his side stood a boy just a little older, though much more independent. He had light brown curled hair, darker skin than his brother, and rounded glasses. He clung to his father’s side, the grip of his tiny hand against his pant leg only loosening at the sight of Adam.

The toddler, unknowing of the severity of the situation, did not tread with any caution, as he didn’t know that the mood called for it. Instead, he began to screech erratically with excitement, scrambling to get out of Shiro’s arm. 

“Go ahead,” Shiro ushered the bigger of the two children, giving his back a gentle shove in Adams direction. 

The boy took a few hesitant steps forward, his hands nervously brought up to his chest. He stopped when he reached the side of the bed, and stared up at Adam, blinking a few times. 

“You must be Matt,” Adam said. “You look exactly the way your dad described you.” 

Matt smiled and nodded his head, “Yeah…” He mumbled. 

“He’s a little nervous,” Shiro explained, still struggling with the toddler in his arm. “Is it okay if I set him up there with you?” 

“Sure,” Adam replied.

Shiro set the toddler onto the bed, who immediately squealed and threw himself into Adam’s arms. Adam returned the embrace with carefully placed hands, unsure of how exactly to hold a child so tiny.

“And this must be Keith, of course.” 

“Uh-huh,” Matt mumbled from the bedside. “He’s only two. I’m five.” As he said the number, he held his hand up with five little fingers wiggling. 

“Wow, so grown up. Are you a good big brother?” Adam had no idea how to speak to children, but he was trying. 

“Uh-huh,” Matt nodded his head, “Well, I think so…” 

Shiro laughed, “He’s a great big brother.” 

Keith continued to coo, his grip as tight as a clamp around Adam’s neck. He couldn’t speak all that much just yet, but he made up for it in the babbling of the few words that he did know. 

“Go ahead and show him what you made,” Shiro spoke again, giving Matt another light shove. Matt gave an embarrassed nod but complied nonetheless. 

He slid his backpack off of his shoulders and set it on the ground. He messily searched through it for a moment before he found what he was searching for. As he stood, he held a piece of orange construction paper in his hands. It was folded in half, and coated in stickers and scribbles. He handed it to Adam, who quickly opened up the card. 

Inside was a drawing of two tall stick figures, with two little ones beside them. They all wore the same smile, and were surrounded by flowers and sunshine. At the top of the card was some messy writing in black crayon. 

**get bedder soon daddy!**

**lov matt & keith**

“I had to write Keith’s name, see?” said Matt as he pointed to the names on the card. “He’s too little to write so he just put all the stickers on.” 

Adam was unable to move his eyes from the card, or produce a response of any sorts. The card was stained with juice spots and little fingerprints having dragged through the wet marker left many spots across the paper. It was messily endearing, made with the unconditional love of a pure hearted child. 

As Adam drifted his gaze to Matt’s eyes, Keith’s arms still grasping onto him desperately, he could feel that same unconditional love evident in the children themselves. They loved him, more than anything, with no restrictions or conditions, and it hurt. It hurt more than losing seventeen years of memory, it hurt more than Shiro’s love. It was as if a dagger had pierced through his heart, leaving a hollow space most usually filled by a little family full of love. 

His eyes burnt as they brimmed with tears, a silent sob escaping his throat caused it to feel dry and sandy.

He wanted to love them, too. He wished he could. 

Tears began to spill down Adam’s cheeks before he could compose himself, causing Matt’s expression to fall. 

“You don’t like it?” Matt asked, his voice hardly more than a whisper. 

Keith pulled away from hugging Adam, and began to rub his tiny hands over his tear-stained cheeks.

“No, I love it,” Adam replied, sniffling quietly. He brought his hand forward, gently stroking Matt’s cheek, the tips of his fingers feathering through his hair. “Thank you so much.” 

“But if you love it then why are you crying?” Matt asked. 

“People can cry for lots of reasons,” Shiro explained, “When they’re really happy, really sad, really mad, just really anything.” 

_Or, really heartbroken._

Adam realized that Shiro was sparing the child from an explanation too complex for his understanding, and he felt a wavering touch of relief. It wasn’t something that he could easily put into words himself, but Matt seemed content with the answer, and smiled once more. 

“Okay,” Matt concluded without an argument, “I’m happy that you love it.” 

“It’s really sweet,” said Adam, placing the card on the bedside table. “I’ll do my best to get better quickly.” 

“How long until you remember us?” Matt asked without hesitation. 

“Hey now,” Shiro cut in, “We talked about this, buddy.”

“I know…” Matt grumbled. “But maybe you lied though?” 

Adam snickered, and Shiro let out a feigned gasp of offense. 

“I’m not a liar, Matt. That’s not a very nice accusation.” 

Matt shrugged his shoulders, unbothered. “I said _maybe_! Jeez!” 

Before anybody had the chance to interrupt him, Matt continued to speak. In the meantime, Keith had comfortably situated himself on Adam’s lap with his head pressed against his shoulder, as he quietly looked about the room. 

“So what can you remember?” Matt continued, “Do you remember your name? Do you remember papa’s name?” 

Adam curled his arms around the toddler on his lap, and rested his cheek against the top of his head. Holding a baby was oddly more comforting than he ever could have imagined it to be. 

“Mhmm, I remember. My name is Adam, and your, uh, papa is Takashi.” 

“Huh? Really?” Matt furrowed his eyebrows. “See, I didn’t know that.” 

“Have you never told him before?” Adam asked Shiro, who then shook his head. “Oh, well, now you know.”

“Hmm,” Matt scrunched up his cheeks in thought, “Not sure if I like them…”

Shiro and Adam both let out a laugh, taking no offense to the child’s words. 

Grabbing him from behind, Shiro slung his arm around Matt’s waist and set him on the bed beside Adam. Then, he took a seat in the chair situated at the side of the bed. 

“Don’t be shy, buddy, he’s still your dad.” Shiro insisted, prompting Matt to become more comfortable. 

“I know,” Matt grumbled, “But he doesn’t remember so I don’t want him to think I’m rude and then maybe not like me this time.”

“He could never dislike you, don’t be silly.” Shiro insisted. 

“Maybe you could tell me a little more about yourself, Matt.” Adam decided to change the subject. “Maybe it could help me remember.” 

“Okay!” Matt quickly perked up. He crossed his legs, his back sprung straight up. “I’m five! And ummm, I like to make up stories. I can do math like a second grader, and I like to play with robots!” 

“Wow,” Adam exclaimed, his eyebrows raising above his glasses. “I’m impressed.” 

“Hold on, I got a robot somewhere here,” Matt mumbled as he peered down the side of the bed. “Papa, where’s my robot?” 

Shiro lifted Matt’s backpack up from the floor and handed it to the child, who then began to rummage through it until he found the object of interest. It was a small green robot, roughly the height of an action figure, and because it had a rough shape and size, Adam could only assume that it had been homemade. It didn’t appear to have any mechanical functions, but even as a lifeless toy, Adam was impressed by the craftsmanship of such a young child. 

“Her name is Pidge!” Matt exclaimed, holding the toy for Adam to see. “You and papa helped me cut up some stuff to make her, do you remember?” 

Even if he had stared deeply at the toy for hours, Adam knew that there was no sense in trying to wrack his mind over it. 

“No, I’m sorry. I don’t remember.”

“That’s okay, I thought so.” said Matt with a shrug. “I’ll give her to you for awhile ‘til you can remember. She can keep you safe!” 

Matt all but shoved the toy into Adam’s hand, giving his hand a small pat on top for good measure. 

“Are you sure?” Adam asked, “She seems special to you.” 

“Yeah but…” Matt began to speak, still staring at Adam’s clasped hand, “You’re more specialer to me.”

Adam’s heart sank- how many times had it in the span of less than an hour? He didn’t know. This time he was able to control his emotions with more ease, smiling gratefully. 

“Thank you, honey,” Adam said, hugging the boy with his free arm. “I really appreciate it.”

In his other arm, Keith began to squirm with restlessness. He stood on his feet, and stomped his tiny little shoes onto the bed while making several indistinguishable noises. Adam smiled with slight amusement, though he ultimately had no idea how to deal with a toddler.

"Does he not speak at all yet?" Adam asked, "Isn't he at that age where they start to do that?"

"He can say a lot of things," Shiro explained, "Nothing entirely coherent but he gets his point across most of the time."

"He can say daddy, and papa," Matt began to answer, counting off the words on his fingers, "He can say matt, milk, doggy, potty, no, yes, hello, bye bye, love you, stop, hungry-"

"Just don't get him to say f-i-r-e-t-r-u-c-k." Shiro mumbled quietly.

Adam furrowed his eyebrows in quiet thought before, without thinking it through, he repeated the word aloud, "Firetruck?"

With a screech of delight, Keith threw his tiny hands into the air and yelled, "Fuck! Fuck!"

"Oh," Adam whispered beneath his breath, "My God."

"I tried to warn you." Shiro said, stifling a laugh so as to not encourage the toddler's antics. 

"Keith, no!" Matt grumbled, placing a hand over the toddler's mouth. "That's wrong! You're saying a bad word! It's Fire-and then-Truck!" 

"Fuck!" Keith screeched stubbornly regardless, no force in the world strong enough to hold him back once he had started. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

In his best possible attempt to calm the overly-hyper toddler, Adam began to rub a hand on his little shoulders. "Can you say... um, doggy?" 

"Woof!" Keith replied with upmost confidence. 

"We're working on his animal noises right now," Shiro explained. 

"Woof, woof!"

Adam watched the toddler's animal imitation, which was now being completed with his tongue hanging out of his mouth in a fake-pant. His hands were curled into tightly balled up fists that he was batting around at shoulder length, and he was squirming around with the same antsy restlessness he had before. 

"He really commits to the role, I'll give him that." Adam commented, earning him a laugh on Shiro's part, which would then, of course, cause Matt and Keith to laugh- though the two weren't really sure what was so funny. 

"He needs to burn some energy by running around a bit," said Shiro, as he hooked his arm beneath the toddlers armpits and scooped him up before setting him on the ground. Surely enough, the toddler began to bolt around the room with a burning curiousity over what each and every little thing around him was.

The room became silent then, save for the sound of little feet running around, as everybody had stopped to observe Keith's journey around the room. Maybe it returned a shred of normalcy to their life's, Adam theorized, but he had no way of knowing whether that was an accurate assumption or not. Keith was the only person in the room completely uneffected by the situation at hand. He was still learning the basics, and far too young to understand the difference between an Adam with his memories, and an Adam without. Somehow, watching him play -his small world unaffected- was nearly therapeutic in the same way to each person in the room. He was just a toddler having fun, even in a dreadful, dreary hospital wing, without a single care.

Adam smiled softly, adjusting the center of his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

_That's really my child, huh?_

He still couldn't believe it, no matter how many times he thought it over. He wished that he could have the playful ignorance of a child as well. If only life remained so simple forever.

Had Adam been happy with the way his life had turned out? Truly, truly happy? Professionally, he had achieved his goals. His family seemed nearly picture perfect. Perhaps his own memories of Shiro were not fond ones, but the man had clearly grown up and changed a lot- and, well, he was handsome and charming in a way that Adam had never gotten to know him before. He didn't seem at all like the Shiro of his memories. His children were both pleasantly heart-warming. Matt was well-spoken and smart, and Keith was adorably unusual.

When Adam had lost his memories, he had lost something very precious along with them. Years of his life, gone in a flash. Perhaps he would never remember- it was a possibility, after all- but he was determined to reclaim every feeling that he possibly could. No matter how long it took.

Screw the fallen petals of a rose. If push came to shove, then Adam would forcefully glue the petals back on. He wanted to reclaim his life and make it his own again. His husband. His children. His job, and his home. These were all things that he could learn to love all over again if need be. His ever-growing heart had all the space that it needed. It had to. He would accept no less. 

In a bright moment of optimism, Adam smiled up at Shiro, their eyes meeting with a pure sense of warmth that hadn't been there even a day before.

"Thank you for all this," Adam said, "I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome, sweetie-" Shiro cut himself off. "Oh, sorry, I mean-"

"No," Adam interjected. "That's alright. I don't mind."

Shiro's expression did a dance both emotional and touching, no longer as poignant as it once was. He looked as if he wanted to cry out in happiness, but instead settled on a subdued smile.

Though it wasn't certain where it had been born, there was a new hope in the air. Things would be okay.

* * *

Parting with his children that night had been difficult for Adam, despite it feeling like a first meeting to him. Matt had cried silent tears as he hugged him goodnight, but nothing held Keith back from wailing loudly as he was taken out of the room, unsure of how long it would be until their next meeting. Though it wouldn't be a long time at all, there was no explaining that to an inconsolable toddler.

The truth was that Adam only had a couple more days left in the hospital, some more non-invasive testing, and then he would be given the okay to go home. He would have to come back every now and then for additional tests and progress reports, but he would otherwise be left to his own devices thereafter, with the hopes of his memories returning naturally on their own over time.

Shiro remained with him every step of the way. Matt and Keith stayed at home for the time being. In no time, they would be reunited, and Adam's old new life would start.

And then, just like that, the day had come for him to leave. Shiro had arrived bright and early to help Adam pack the few things that he had with him during the duration of his hospital stay- one of his few possessions including the robotic doll that Matt had so thoughtfully left behind to keep him company. Admittedly, Adam had enjoyed the presence of the toy. He smiled as he set it into a bag, recalling the instance in which the child had handed it off to him with the declaration that he was 'more specialer' to him.

"You've been through a lot, so you'll still have to take it easy for awhile." Shiro had suddenly piped up, "I think you'll really feel at ease once we get you home. I'll make you anything you want for dinner."

Adam snickered, "Oh? As far as I can recall, you're a terrible cook."

"Wait- How would you know?" Shiro raised an eyebrow in quiet thought. "I didn't cook for you until we were already dating."

"Didn't you?" Adam asked, "Something about the remnants of a burnt grilled cheese is strong in my mind."

"That was on our... third date, I want to say."

Adam stayed quiet, pushing his mind to the limit as he tried to recall the details of the date, though he ultimately failed to do so.

"I guess you really will start to remember things slowly, huh?" As Shiro spoke, the tone of his voice resembled a sigh of relief, as if his every recent worry was being washed away in one swift movement.

Adam found himself smiling then. Maybe it wasn't a completely hopeless situation, after all. Fitting into his home life wouldn't be as forceful as he had convinced himself that it would be. He wouldn't need to force anything at all.

And though his memories weren't fully returned to him, there was one thing that Adam was sure of. His feelings were coming back just the same. What his mind had since forgotten, his body was remembering. As he stood beside Shiro, he could subconsciously feel the sensation of the mans arm around his waist, the gentle twirl of his thumb drawing circles against his skin. It was something he hadn't felt in god knew how long, yet the sensation still existed in his mind.

"Takashi," Adam suddenly piped up, attracting the mans undivided attention. "Can you hug me?"

"Huh?" Shiro mumbled, eyebrows raising. There was no doubt that he was confused by the sudden request, but he smiled in amusement and complied, reaching his arm forward and wrapping it tightly around Adam's waist. Adam placed his arms around the man's shoulders, resting his cheek contently against his. His face was warm, and his grip tight. Slowly but surely, he soon began to feel Shiro's thumb drawing small circles on his back.

"I'll do my best to remember everything that I possibly can," Adam whispered only for Shiro to hear.

"I love you so much, Adam," Shiro whispered in return. "I can't wait for you to remember it all."

It was then that Adam could feel a certain dampness from Shiro's cheek. He gripped him tighter, his cheek brushing against Shiro's until their lips lingered with a short distance from each other. Shiro's breath was warm against his skin, and he was sure that his could be felt just as well. There was only a seconds hesitation as Adam fluttered his eyes shut, bridging the gap between their lips. There was a longing in their kiss, something that had both been long-awaited and full of a love that Adam was proud to call his own even if he couldn't recall every little detail of it.

Despite it all, his body remembered that feeling just the same.

There were no fallen petals off the rose- they had stayed there all along. And as he slowly recalled things over time, the flower would only continue to blossom more and more, until it was more full than it had been to begin with.

"I sometimes wish that I could've gotten to know you sooner," Adam commented, as he pulled away from the kiss.

Shiro smirked slyly, "Who knows where we could be now?"

Adam tilted his head, "How did you know that I was going to say that?"

"Oh, you'll remember," Shiro teased. "I'm sure of it."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this whole thing! Let me know what you thought!


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